What is a feminist mama to do?

(Earlier today at the store...note the look of longing)

This afternoon:
Molly: "I'm pretending to be a Barbie Princess."
Mommy: "Why?"
Molly: "Just to bug you."

What is a feminist mama to do? I've surrounded my daughter with 'alternative' toys--imaginative, wood, Waldorf-y, gender neutral...but there seems to be a force outside us both that draws her to these Barbies and all things Princess. Thinking myself savvy I conceded to the princesses as long as they were strong and capable princesses (i.e. Paper Bag Princess, Princess Fiona, Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots? books, etc). We talk all the time about the merits of being capable and smart. She understands that I don't like (or approve of) Barbie and she concedes to that...mostly, if not for the occassional request to 'visit' the Barbie aisle.

I knew the Barbie obsession was likely inevitable. And I appreciate that I am hardly the first mom to confront this battle with her daughter. But on the other hand, I really thought that I was creating an alternative culture for her. And yet, the power of our own mainstream culture is seemingly unavoidable. As such, I guess my best 'defense' is to keep her talking about why she likes/wants the dolls? what do they do? what does she like to do?

I remember a friend once telling me that she explained to her daughter that Barbie is so unreal that she couldn't support her own head if she was an actual woman. I tried telling Molly that, I don't think she cares. Not as long as there are pretty dresses, pretty shoes, and sparkles.

Oh, what is a feminist mama to do?

My Commencement Speech for Sierra College

Congratulations on all that brought you here today—family and friends; teachers and mentors; those late night study sessions and lots caffeine…And kudos to that place inside you that pushes you to finish that project, write that paper, go to the class…especially when you really didn’t want to. Today you see it all come together. Today you graduate. You leave here to continue your education---at universities, in the workforce, and hopefully throughout all aspects of your life. My great grandma used to say as long as you have options you are doing OK. Graduating today gives you options. Where you go, what you do with those options is up to you. No one can take away from you, where you have been or the accomplishments that led you to today. But let me remind you that with your degree you also earned a responsibility. You have something that people around the world fight for, something many of you had to fight for…you have an education. No one will ever be able to take that away. But for that education to really serve you, you must also pass it on.

As I was preparing my remarks for today I came across a quote from Tom Brokaw who said about graduation, “You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world.”

We often look to leaders for inspiration. They are the icons who created change and fought for the opportunities we benefit from today. Whether enduring hunger strikes to protest unjust laws like Gandhi, or being the first to picket the White House like Alice Paul who stood up for the belief that women should have their voices counted, or empowered workers to fight for fair and safe labor practices as Cesear Chavez and Delores Huerta did in organizing farm workers, or marched, organized, and motivated masses like Martin Luther King Jr. who fought for a dream of seeing and treating one another as equals. These are the legends that we look to for vision and hope.

But what do all these people have in common? Whether fighting for freedom, equality, or justice they are all people who believed in a vision of a just society. Who decided to take a stand. To use their voice. To put their passion into action. They were each ONE person who inspired another. Who then inspired another and another, until change happened and justice was realized. You each have this possibility in you. Poet and activist Audre Lorde said “Our visions begin with our desires.” What is yours?
You may already have your passion—maybe you discovered it while here at Sierra. Some of you are still searching…but it is there. You just have to listen.

You graduate Sierra College today with a greater knowledge than you had coming in—the knowledge of your disciplines but more importantly the knowledge of yourselves.
Where ever you go from here, whatever you do, you take with you a better you. Among you are the Alice Pauls, Martin Luther King Jrs….. of this time. As Eleanor Roosevelt once said “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” What is your vision? What will you do to create justice, equality, and a world that is about us all? How will you lead the way? What is your dream?

I leave you with this….Nelson Mandela said “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” This is your chance. May you use your experience from Sierra College as a foundation. May you have the courage to find your voice, use it, and make a commitment to bettering the world.

On behalf of my fellow faculty, and of Sierra College, I celebrate you today. We can’t wait to see the world you help to create.
Happy Graduation.

May 14, 2010

Furious with Arizona

Yup. Mad at an entire state. Or at least the government of the state of Arizona. Because I just can't believe the people would support such outright and blatant racism.

A new law just passed mandating that law enforcement question anyone who appears to be undocumented by 'reasonable suspicion.' Seriously? What would constitute reasonable suspicion? If you look like an immigrant you will be questioned and must show documentation. But any immigrant? No I don't think so. I doubt the state of Arizona is pulling over anyone who looks Canadian or French or Swedish...no they are looking for brown people. They are 'cracking down' on immigration from Mexico, Central and South America. Oh the irony!

Why irony?...well, unless you are part of the less than 1% who claim Native American heritage living in this country then you too have immigration in your familial history, and likely illegal immigration given the history of our country. We are a nation built on immigration. And despite all the negative press, there are many positives to this--not the least of which includes diversity of culture and a hard working and honest labor force. With undocumented workers we also have a population of people who contribute largely to services, though they are often denied these same services because of lack of legal status and/or lack of resources. Undocumented workers are in many ways the backbone of our economies--certainly true in California with our agriculture and construction industries--yet they are subject to prejudice, discrimination, and laws that prohibit their full participation in society.

It is also important to note that many undocumented workers are working illegally in the U.S. because their home economies are so poor they can't survive or raise a family. Not your problem? Think again. These economies are largely impacted by colonization by countries like the U.S. With this, wealthy nations (again, think U.S.) go into poorer nations and take over, setting up export industries that support the U.S. and in turn deplete resources, farm land, and economies. Left with little option, workers travel, moving around farm to farm, every few months, looking for work--jobs that usually consist of substandard working conditions, unfair labor practices, no safety precautions, no health care, and extremely poor wages. And they leave loved ones, missing years of time with their families. They do this to survive.

And most Americans benefit greatly from this system. We love to yell and scream about the impact on our health care system (well Universal Health Care would solve that), the impact on our schools (prioritize and fund education adequately and then we'll talk), and other services (again, many of which undocumented workers contribute to via sales tax and workers' taxes but then don't have access to) but we rarely recognize the numerous benefits we reap off the backs of these workers. Consider the cost of basket of strawberries without this system in place. And for that cheap basket of strawberries we are willing to allow atrocities of unsafe, unfair, and often violent work environments for farm workers. Shamefully we are not only willing to allow this, we add to it an arrogance of labeling people illegal and treating them worse than animals.

The Arizona law takes this practice to a whole new level.

I commend Mayor Gavin Newsome (San Francisco) for taking a stand. I commend California Senate President Pro Tem Darrell Steinberg for taking a stand. We must send the message to Arizona that such laws are wrong.

Seriously??

A bra for your butt? Will this crap ever stop?

For more on the butt bra, click here

Can we perhaps move our focus from 'boosting saggy bums' and 'shrinking our backsides' to a focus on 'boosting' the self esteem of women and girls, 'boosting' wages for working women, 'boosting' representation of women in politics and 'shrinking' discrimination, sexism, homophobia, violence, and inequity?

Another reason for Feminism and Justice

This blog post, Shocking Photos of Corrective Rape Victim, came across my facebook tonight. My immediate reaction was tears....but then rage took over. The violence, hate, brutality that continues to plague women and girls around the world overwhelms me. If ever there was proof that sexism and homophobia are alive and well...here it is. If ever we need to recommit to feminism, activism, and justice...here is the call.

My thoughts are with Millicent Gaika tonight, I'm in awe of her strength and her survival.

My daughter's logic

My daughter, Molly, wanted to visit the girl toys in a store today. I explained (again) that there are only toys, not boy and girl toys, and that anyone can play. She looked @ me and said, "OK, then, I want to go where the pink and purple toys are." Geez...

Re-Post from Ms. Blog

When Infidelity Becomes “Sex Addiction”